Life's Road Signs

Signmaker

What Fathers Must Do

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The best things aren’t things
What Fathers Must Do

Fathers play a vital role in shaping the way our children view and treat the women in their lives. One of the most important lessons fathers can teach children is the value and importance of loving and respecting their mother.

First and foremost, it’s important for fathers to lead by example. Children will look to us as role models for how to treat the women in their lives. By showing our children that we love and respect their mother, we are setting the foundation for them to do the same.

But it’s not just about setting an example, it’s also about actively teaching and encouraging our children to show love and respect toward their mothers. As fathers, we can take the time to talk to our children about the importance of treating their mothers with kindness and understanding. We can also make sure to acknowledge and praise our children when we see them showing love and respect towards their mothers.

Teaching our children to love and respect their mothers also means teaching them about the importance of equality in relationships. We should be teaching our children that both men and women should be treated with the same respect and given equal opportunities.

We can also teach our children to understand that being a mother is not just a role, it’s a full-time job and a tough one, that needs patience, love, and respect. We should encourage our children to show gratitude to their mothers and be involved in helping with all tasks.

In conclusion, as fathers, we have a significant impact on the way our children view and treat women in their lives. By setting an example and actively teaching our children to love and respect their mothers, we are helping to shape them into kind and respectful adults. Let’s take this opportunity to be the best role models for our children and teach them the importance of valuing and loving their mother.

(This was written from my own experience. This post is not intended to normalize or suggest that there is only one type of family or that there is only one way to be in this world.  I wrote this post because it is a reminder to me that I need to constantly challenge and reassess how I interact with my wife and all women.)

Stop Judging Others

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Stop Judging Others
Stop Judging Others

 

We live in a world where it’s all too easy to find faults in others and judge them for their actions or choices. But when we focus on judging others, we not only harm them but also ourselves. It takes away from the energy and time we could be using to better ourselves and our surroundings.

When we judge others, we create a negative and divisive atmosphere. It creates a barrier between us and the people around us, making it difficult to connect and understand one another. It also prevents us from seeing the good in others and in ourselves.

But when we choose to look for the good in others, we open ourselves up to a world of positivity and understanding. We see the best in people, rather than focusing on their flaws. This positive perspective allows us to connect with others on a deeper level and find common ground.

Looking for the good in others also has a profound effect on our own self-esteem and self-worth. When we see the good in others, it becomes easier to see the good in ourselves. We start to appreciate our own strengths and accomplishments and become more confident in who we are.

It’s important to remember that everyone has their own journey and their own struggles. We may not always understand or agree with the choices and actions of others, but it’s not our place to judge them. Instead, let’s choose to focus on the good in others and in ourselves.

In conclusion, judging others not only harms the person being judged but also harms ourselves. By choosing to focus on the good in others, we create a positive and understanding atmosphere. It also helps us to appreciate our own strengths and become more confident in ourselves. Let’s make a conscious effort to stop judging others and start looking for the good in them.

No Cell Phones In Heaven

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No cell phones in heaven. The idea is a little humorous — and a little pointed. Because what it’s really asking is: what are you missing right now because of the device in your hand?

We have been given a limited number of days. In those days, we have been given people to love, experiences to inhabit, beauty to notice, and work that matters. We have been given the present moment — the only place where any of it is actually accessible to us.

And then we invented a small rectangle that delivers an infinite stream of input designed to capture our attention and hold it. And we carry it everywhere. And we look at it constantly. And we are, increasingly, less present in our own lives because of it.

There will be no cell phones in heaven — or wherever you believe you’re going, or even just in the final chapter of your life when the things that matter most come into sharpest focus. In that moment, no one regrets not checking their phone more. Everyone who has thought about it regrets the conversations they half-attended, the moments they documented instead of inhabiting, the people they were with but not fully present for.

You don’t have to wait for the final chapter to make that adjustment. You can make it now. Put the phone down at dinner. Look up on the walk. Be fully in the conversation you’re actually in. The present moment, fully inhabited, is the closest thing to heaven most of us will ever experience. Don’t miss it.

Love and Faithfulness

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Love and faithfulness. These two qualities, woven together, form the foundation of every relationship and institution worth having. Where they are present, trust grows. Where they are absent, everything eventually falls apart.

Love without faithfulness is feeling without commitment — the warmth of affection without the backbone of reliability. It feels good in the early days and disappears precisely when it’s most needed. We have all experienced the love that was inconsistent, that showed up when convenient and vanished under pressure. It leaves a particular kind of wound.

Faithfulness without love is duty without heart — the performance of obligation without genuine care for the person you’re committed to. It breeds resentment and hollowness. It keeps the external promises while violating the internal ones.

Together, they produce something different and extraordinary. They produce the relationship where you know — deeply, without constant reassurance — that you are seen, valued, and chosen. Not just when things are easy, but when they are hard. Not just when you are at your best, but when you are at your most difficult.

This combination — love and faithfulness — is what makes a marriage last. It’s what makes a friendship survive decades and distance. It’s what makes an organization worth working for and a community worth belonging to. It is also, in many traditions, the core description of God’s character — a love that is not fickle and a faithfulness that does not fail.

Pursue love and faithfulness in everything you do. Be someone whose love is dependable. That combination is the rarest and most valuable thing you can offer another person.

Death has no sting

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Death has no sting. This declaration, drawn from Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, is among the most audacious statements in all of human literature — a direct challenge to the thing that frightens us most.

Death shapes human life more than almost anything else. It is the great certainty that colors everything else uncertain. We don’t know when, we don’t know how, we don’t know what — if anything — follows. And so we live with this awareness at the edges of our consciousness, influencing our choices, our fears, and the urgency — or absence of urgency — with which we approach our days.

For those without faith, the sting of death is its finality — the end of experience, of connection, of the self as we know it. For those who believe in something beyond this life, the sting is diminished but not eliminated — there is still the grief of separation, the physical reality of loss, the disruption of what was.

But the declaration that death has no sting points toward something: that the power death has over us is mostly in the living. The fear of it is the sting. The way it makes us shrink, avoid, and hold back is the sting. The thing that faith takes away is not the event of death but its power to terrorize the life that precedes it.

Live fully. Love well. Do not let the certainty of your end make you less present in your life. The sting of death is optional. Choose to live as though you believe that.

Stop Look and Listen

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Stop, look, and listen. We learned this rule as children, standing at the edge of a road. It still applies — not just to traffic, but to every threshold we stand at in life.

Stop. Before you react, decide, or commit — stop. The pause is where wisdom lives. Most regrettable things happen because we moved too fast, spoke too soon, or acted before we thought. The discipline of stopping before you go is one of the most underrated habits of effective, thoughtful people.

Look. Really look — not at your phone, not at the distraction, not at the surface of what’s happening. Look at what is actually in front of you. Look at the other person, at their body language, at what’s unsaid. Look at the situation beyond the immediate moment. What is really going on here? What am I not seeing?

Listen. Not just for the words, but for the meaning behind them. Not just for what is being said, but for what is being felt. Not just to gather information for your response, but to genuinely understand the person and the moment in front of you.

These three practices, applied together, will dramatically improve the quality of every decision you make, every conversation you have, and every relationship you invest in. They are not complicated. They are simply rare. Most people stop at none of the three — they react immediately, see what they expect to see, and listen only for what confirms what they already believe.

Stop, look, and listen. Then proceed — more wisely than before.

Don’t miss it.

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Don’t miss it
           Don’t miss it

 

Time is one of the most valuable resources we have in life. It is something that we cannot control or manipulate, but we can choose how we use it. One of the most important things we can do with our time is to cherish the moments we have with the people we love. Life is fleeting, and every moment is a precious gift that we should not take for granted.

In today’s fast-paced world, we often find ourselves caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily life. We are so busy with work, school, and other responsibilities that we forget to stop and appreciate the little things. It’s easy to get so caught up in the future that we forget to enjoy the present. This is why it is so important not to miss the moments.

Moments are the little things that make life worth living. They can be as simple as a smile from a stranger or a warm hug from a loved one. These moments can be fleeting, but they are powerful. They have the power to brighten our day, lift our spirits, and make us feel alive. When we take the time to appreciate these moments, we are able to experience life to the fullest.

One of the biggest regrets people have when they look back on their lives is that they didn’t appreciate the moments. They were so focused on achieving their goals that they missed out on the little things that make life worth living. They didn’t take the time to enjoy the company of their loved ones, to laugh, to play, to create memories that would last a lifetime.

The truth is, life is short. We never know how much time we have, which is why it is so important to make the most of every moment. We should live in the present, appreciate the people around us, and cherish the moments we have together. We should create memories that will last a lifetime, and we should never take the people we love for granted.

The importance of not missing the moments cannot be overstated. Life is short, and we should make the most of every moment. We should appreciate the people around us, cherish the moments we have together, and create memories that will last a lifetime. By doing so, we will live a life that is full of joy, love, and meaning.

Put down your phone

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Put down your phone. Not forever — just right now. Just long enough to actually be where you are.

The phone is not the enemy. It connects us to people we love, gives us access to more information than any library in history, and enables work and creativity that weren’t possible before. It is an extraordinary tool. But like any powerful tool, when it stops serving us and starts controlling us, something important has been lost.

The research on phone use is sobering. The average person checks their phone dozens of times per day. The apps in our pockets are designed by sophisticated behavioral scientists to maximize the time we spend on them — deploying notification timing, variable reward schedules, and social comparison in ways that exploit the brain’s natural tendencies. We are not simply choosing to be on our phones. We are being pulled.

What are you missing while you’re on it? The conversation happening right in front of you. The beauty of wherever you are. The thoughts that come when you let your mind rest instead of filling every empty moment with input. The children who are getting older while you scroll. The person across the table who can tell you’re only half there.

Small changes make a difference. No phones at meals. The phone stays out of the bedroom at night. The first hour of your morning is yours before you hand it to the notifications. One hour a day where you’re just present — for a walk, for a conversation, for nothing at all.

The real world is right here. Put down the phone and be in it.

Pinoholic

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Pinoholic. It’s a word that speaks to the passionate collector, the one who can never have too many — whatever their thing is. And it raises a question worth asking: what are you passionate about? What is the thing that you pursue with that kind of enthusiasm and dedication?

Passion is one of the great drivers of a meaningful life. Not the shallow kind of enthusiasm that fades when novelty wears off, but the deep, abiding interest that keeps pulling you back — the thing you find yourself reading about when you could be sleeping, talking about when you could be talking about something else, and returning to even after you’ve stepped away.

The world rewards people who are deeply passionate about something, because passion produces the sustained effort that competence requires. Casual interest produces casual results. Deep passion, practiced over time, produces mastery — and mastery produces a life that feels purposeful and alive.

What’s your pinoholic? What is the thing that you collect, pursue, or invest in with genuine enthusiasm? It doesn’t have to be practical or professional. It can be entirely personal. But it should be real — something that makes you more alive when you’re engaged with it, something that pulls you forward rather than you having to push yourself toward it.

If you don’t know yet, that’s okay. Pay attention to what holds your interest when nothing is demanding it. That’s the beginning of the answer. Find your passion. Pursue it deeply. It will take you somewhere worth going.

Shoe-a-holic

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A shoe-a-holic doesn’t just collect shoes — they collect the feeling that comes with each new pair. The promise of a fresh start, a new version of yourself, a burst of joy in an otherwise ordinary day. There is nothing wrong with loving what you love.

But there’s wisdom in asking what’s underneath any collection, any passion, any thing we turn to when we want to feel something. Sometimes the answer is pure delight — and that’s enough. A beautiful pair of shoes is a beautiful pair of shoes. Art, craftsmanship, and style have genuine value. Not everything needs to be interrogated into the ground.

The road of life has room for the things that make you happy. If shoes are your thing — if they bring you genuine joy, if curating them is a creative expression, if the hunt is as satisfying as the find — then enjoy it fully and without apology. Life is too short to feel guilty about your particular flavor of happiness.

What matters is that the things you love enhance your life rather than running from it. That the collection brings you joy rather than filling a void. That the spending is within your means and not quietly creating stress behind the scenes.

Walk the road your way. With great shoes, ideally — but most importantly, with intention, with joy, and with the kind of confidence that has nothing to do with what you’re wearing. The shoe-a-holic’s road: stylish, individual, and entirely their own.

Wrong is wrong and right is right

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Wrong is wrong even if everyone is doing it. Right is right even if no one is doing it. This is the kind of clarity that holds when the pressure to conform is high and the cost of standing alone feels steep.

We are social creatures, and our sense of what’s acceptable is heavily shaped by what the people around us accept. This is a feature, not a bug — it allows societies to function and cooperate at scale. But it has a dangerous side: when the crowd is wrong, we are powerfully inclined to go along with them anyway, because belonging feels safer than standing apart.

History is full of moments where wrong was normalized — where people who knew better stayed silent because everyone around them was staying silent too. And history equally honors the people who didn’t — who held to what was right even when it was costly, unpopular, or dangerous to do so.

You don’t need to wait for a historical moment to practice this. The small, daily choices to be honest when dishonesty would be easier, to speak up when silence would be safer, to do the right thing when no one is looking — these are where character is actually formed.

Right doesn’t become wrong because it’s lonely. Wrong doesn’t become right because it has company. These truths are stable regardless of what the crowd is doing. Know what you believe. Know why you believe it. And when the crowd is heading in the wrong direction, be the person who remembers: wrong is wrong, right is right, and the difference matters.

Wrong path

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If you’re on the wrong path, the best time to change direction is now. Not after one more year. Not after you’ve invested more time into it. Now, while the cost of turning around is still less than the cost of continuing.

We are susceptible to what economists call the sunk cost fallacy — the tendency to keep investing in something because of what we’ve already invested, even when the evidence says it’s not working. The relationship that clearly isn’t right, but we’ve been in it for five years. The career that doesn’t fit, but we spent a decade training for it. The path that leads somewhere we no longer want to go.

Here is the truth about sunk costs: they are gone. The time, money, and energy already spent cannot be recovered by continuing. They are the same whether you change direction today or five years from now. The only thing that changes is how much more you add to the pile before accepting the reality in front of you.

Changing course takes courage, especially when others have watched you commit to the current path. It can feel like failure or giving up. But there is a significant difference between quitting because something is hard and redirecting because something is genuinely wrong for you. The first is worth pushing through. The second is wisdom.

How do you know if you’re on the wrong path? When the persistent, honest voice inside keeps saying this isn’t it — not in moments of tiredness, but consistently, deeply, over time.

Listen. Then turn. The right road is still ahead.

Now I am mad!

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You’re mad. Good. Now use it.

Anger gets a bad reputation, and often deservedly — when it’s expressed impulsively or directed at the wrong target, it damages relationships and clouds judgment. But anger in its uncorrupted form is not a problem. It is a signal. It tells you that something important to you has been violated — a value, a boundary, a sense of fairness. That signal is worth listening to.

The question is not whether to feel angry — you will, and suppressing it entirely is both unhealthy and ultimately impossible. The question is what to do with the energy it generates. Anger, channeled intentionally, is one of the most powerful forces for change available to human beings. Every social movement in history was fueled, in part, by people who were mad enough at an injustice to do something about it.

On a personal level, anger can be the spark that finally moves you out of a situation that wasn’t serving you. It can be the motivation to set a boundary you’ve been avoiding. It can be the energy that gets you off the couch and into action when resignation had taken root.

When you’re mad, pause before reacting. Ask: What is this anger telling me? Is there something here that needs to change, a conversation that needs to happen, an action that’s long overdue? Then direct the energy there — purposefully, constructively, with clarity about what you actually want to achieve.

Now that you’re mad, the next step is up to you. Make it count.

Negative perspective

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A negative perspective doesn’t just affect how you feel — it affects what you see, what you pursue, and what you allow yourself to become. The lens through which you view the world shapes your world.

We all have a negativity bias — it’s wired into our brains. Our ancestors who paid more attention to threats survived longer, and so that tendency got passed down to us. The problem is that most of us are no longer facing survival-level threats every day, yet our brains are still scanning for danger, catastrophizing small inconveniences, and weighing losses far more heavily than equivalent gains.

A consistently negative perspective creates a self-fulfilling cycle. You expect things to go wrong, so you notice the evidence that confirms it and overlook the evidence that contradicts it. You stop taking risks because you’re already certain of failure. You interpret other people’s behavior through a suspicious lens and push away the very relationships that could support you.

Shifting your perspective doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine or plastering a fake smile over real problems. It means consciously training your attention to also register what is working, what is good, and what is possible — alongside what is difficult.

Gratitude practice is one of the most evidence-backed tools for doing this. When you end each day by identifying three specific things you’re grateful for, you gradually recalibrate your brain’s default scanning direction — from threat to opportunity. Your perspective is not fixed. It is a habit of mind, and like any habit, it can be changed with intention and practice.

Stop Suicide

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If you are standing at what feels like the end of the road — please stop. The road doesn’t end here, even when it feels like it does.

The pain that feels unbearable can pass. The circumstances that feel permanent can shift. The life that feels unlivable can become, with time and the right support, a life worth staying for. These are not empty words — they reflect the experiences of countless people who found themselves at their lowest and discovered, on the other side of that moment, that something better was still possible.

If you are struggling right now, you do not have to make any permanent decisions today. You only have to do one thing: reach out to someone. A friend. A family member. A counselor. Anyone. You do not have to carry this alone, and you do not have to have it all figured out before you ask for help.

In the United States, you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Trained counselors are there to listen without judgment and help you find a way through.

Whatever has brought you to this place — the grief, the loss, the loneliness, the illness — none of it means your story is over. Some of the most remarkable chapters in people’s lives came after their darkest moments.

Please stop. Please reach out. Your life has value that may be hard to see right now — but it is there, and so is the road forward.

Stop Bullying

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Every child deserves to feel safe — at school, online, in their own neighborhood. Bullying makes safety feel impossible, and that is something no child should have to accept as normal.

Bullying takes many forms. It is the physical intimidation in the hallway, the social exclusion engineered to make someone feel invisible, the relentless cruelty of online comments that follow a child home and into their bedroom at night. The digital age has removed the last safe refuge — home — from children who are targeted, and the impact is profound.

Research shows that both those who are bullied and those who do the bullying are at elevated risk for mental health challenges. The child who bullies is often masking their own pain, insecurity, or difficult home circumstances. Addressing bullying effectively means reaching both sides of the dynamic with compassion and accountability.

Communities that successfully reduce bullying share common features. There are clear expectations and consistent consequences. Adults model respectful behavior. Bystanders are empowered to speak up rather than stay silent. Those who are targeted have accessible, trusted adults they can report to without fear of retaliation or dismissal.

Parents play a critical role. Watch for signs that your child may be struggling — withdrawal, reluctance to go to school, changes in mood or appetite. Ask open questions. Make space for them to tell you the truth without fear of an overreaction that would make things harder for them.

Bullying is not inevitable. It is a choice — and it can be stopped when enough people choose not to tolerate it.

Stop Bullying Now

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Stop bullying now. Not tomorrow, not after “it gets worse,” not once we’ve gathered enough data about its effects. Now. Because a child somewhere is being crushed today, and today matters.

Bullying is not a rite of passage. It is not “kids being kids.” It is the repeated, intentional act of using power to harm — physically, emotionally, socially, or online. And the harm it causes is real, lasting, and in some cases, devastating. Studies consistently show that children who are bullied face significantly higher rates of depression, anxiety, poor academic performance, and in the most severe cases, suicidal ideation.

The responsibility to stop bullying belongs to everyone — not just the children involved. Adults who witness bullying and look away are communicating that it’s acceptable. Schools that fail to take it seriously are telling victims that they don’t matter. Parents who dismiss their children’s reports are leaving them to face real pain alone.

What can you do? If you see it, say something. Create environments — in classrooms, in homes, on teams — where cruelty is not tolerated and kindness is modeled and celebrated. Teach children the difference between banter and harm. Listen when a child tells you they’re being treated badly. Take it seriously the first time.

For those who have been bullied: what is happening to you is not your fault. You are not the problem. You deserve to feel safe. Tell a trusted adult. Tell another and another until someone listens. You do not have to endure this alone.

Stop bullying now. The road should be safe for everyone to travel.

You never get poor by giving

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You never get poor by giving. This truth runs counter to a scarcity mindset that tells us there’s only so much to go around — that generosity is a luxury for those who can afford it, that giving away what you have will leave you with less.

The evidence, both empirical and experiential, consistently points the other direction. Studies in economics and psychology find that people who give a significant portion of their income to others consistently report higher levels of satisfaction and, in many cases, continued material success. The connection between generosity and abundance is not accidental — it reflects something real about how human beings and communities function.

When you give, you demonstrate an abundance mindset — the belief that more can be created, that your wellbeing is not in competition with someone else’s, that the pie can get bigger. This mindset tends to produce behaviors that actually create more: innovation, collaboration, generosity from others in return, and a reputation for trustworthiness that opens doors.

Beyond the practical, giving creates meaning. The research on happiness consistently identifies contribution — giving time, energy, or resources to something larger than yourself — as one of the most reliable sources of lasting well-being. Money spent on others produces more happiness, per dollar, than money spent on oneself.

Give of your time. Give of your attention. Give of your resources in proportion to what you have. Give credit generously. Give encouragement freely. Give help before you’re asked. You will not be poorer for it. You will almost certainly be richer — in ways that matter more than money.

End of the Road

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What looks like the end of the road is often simply a turn you haven’t seen yet. The road doesn’t disappear — it redirects. And sometimes the redirect leads somewhere better than where you originally planned to go.

Endings are hard because we attach meaning to them. A job ends and it feels like our purpose ended. A relationship ends and it feels like connection itself has closed. A dream doesn’t come true the way we imagined and it feels like hope has run out. These feelings are real and deserve to be honored — but they are not the same as the truth.

History is full of people who stood at what felt like the end and discovered it was actually a beginning. The fired executive who started the company that changed their industry. The failed marriage that ultimately led someone to themselves. The illness that redirected a life toward what actually mattered. None of these people would have chosen those endings. But many of them would not undo them.

When you’re at what feels like an end, give yourself time to grieve what’s being lost. Don’t rush past the difficulty to false optimism. But also hold space for the question: What might this be making room for? What could only begin once this ended?

New roads have been opened from the rubble of things that ended. New chapters have begun from the last page of the previous one. The story isn’t over. You’re not at the end of the road — you’re at a turn in it. Keep your eyes open. The next stretch of road is coming into view.

Where am I?

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Where am I?
Where am I?

As we navigate through life, it can be easy to feel lost and uncertain of which direction to take. We may have a general idea of where we want to go, but without a clear understanding of where we currently stand, it can be difficult to make any real progress. This is why knowing where you are is one of the most important steps in finding your way.

When we don’t know where we are, we can feel like we’re wandering aimlessly, without a clear sense of purpose or direction. But when we take the time to assess our current situation, we gain a better understanding of our strengths, weaknesses, and opportunities. This allows us to make more informed decisions about where we want to go and how we plan to get there.

Think of it like a map. If you have a map but cannot tell where you are on the map, it will be difficult for you to use it to find your way. Similarly, if we don’t take the time to understand our current position, it will be challenging to create a plan to reach our goals.

Knowing where you are also allows you to set realistic and achievable goals. Without this understanding, our goals may be too ambitious or unrealistic and can lead to disappointment and frustration. But with a clear understanding of our current situation, we can set goals that are challenging but also attainable.

In life, we may not always know exactly where we are going, but by understanding where we are currently, we can make more informed decisions about our path forward. So take the time to assess your current situation, understand your strengths and weaknesses, and set realistic goals. This will not only help you find your way but also give you a sense of direction and purpose.