One of the most powerful things a parent can do for their children is to love the other parent well. Children are always watching, always learning, always forming their understanding of what relationships look like from the model closest to them.
When children see their parents treat each other with respect, affection, and kindness, they learn that love is safe. They learn how conflict can be handled without cruelty. They learn that two people can be genuinely different and still choose each other. They develop a template for their own future relationships that will serve them for the rest of their lives.
This does not mean performing happiness you don’t feel, or staying in situations that are genuinely harmful. It means that within whatever structure your family takes, making a conscious choice to honor the other person who is raising your children — to speak well of them, to support their role, to model basic human decency — is one of the most important investments you can make in your children’s wellbeing.
For couples: don’t let the busyness of life and parenting erode the friendship and connection you built. Invest in each other. Go on dates. Say kind things. Handle disagreements away from little ears whenever possible.
For co-parents who are no longer together: the children still need both of you to show up for them without making them feel caught in the middle. Choose to be cooperative, respectful, and generous — not for your sake, but for theirs. Love their mother. Love their father. It’s one of the best things you’ll ever do for your children.